How to Run a Private Game Server for Friends
To run a private server for friends, put a password or whitelist on it so only invited players can join, give admin rights to as few people as possible, set the slot count to your real peak, and keep a backup of the save. Everything else is detail that depends on the game.
This guide covers how access control actually works in popular games, how to share control of the server without handing out your login, how to size it, and how to split the bill.
- Use a whitelist or allow-list when you can: it identifies players by account, so a leaked password doesn't matter. Use a password when a game only offers that.
- Give admin to one or two trusted people. Admin lists and operator levels are powerful, and mistakes are hard to undo.
- Use sub-user access so friends can help manage the server without your account.
- Set slots to your real peak plus a little headroom. You can raise them later.
- Group/Clan Pay is there to split the cost between the group. Back up the save before anyone experiments.
On this page
Password or whitelist: which should you use?
A password is the simplest lock, but it only works as long as nobody shares it. A whitelist (called an allow-list in some games) checks each player's account, so you decide exactly who gets in and can remove one person without changing anything for everyone else. For a private server with a known group of friends, a whitelist is usually the better choice when the game has one.
| Game | Password | Whitelist / allow-list |
|---|---|---|
| Minecraft Java | No built-in server password. Use the whitelist | Set white-list=true in server.properties (default false), then whitelist add <name>. enforce-whitelist=true also kicks players who were removed |
| Valheim | -password launch option. Valheim wants a password of at least five characters that doesn't appear in the server name | permittedlist.txt in the save folder. Once it has entries, everyone not on the list is shut out |
| 7 Days to Die | ServerPassword in serverconfig.xml. Leave it blank for a public server | See your version's admin documentation, as the setup differs between versions |
Two details worth knowing. In Minecraft, online-mode (default true) makes the server check every player against Mojang's account service. Turn it off and anyone can join under any username, including an admin's, so leave it on for a server on the internet. And in Valheim, you can set -public 0 so the server isn't listed in the server browser at all and players join by address.
Set up admin permissions carefully
Admin and operator rights let a player run console commands: teleport, spawn items, kick, ban, and sometimes stop the server. Treat them like keys to the house.
- Minecraft: operators are stored in
ops.jsonand added with theopcommand.op-permission-levelinserver.propertiesdefaults to 4, the highest level. If you want trusted helpers who can moderate but not run everything, set a lower level. - Valheim: add a player's platform user ID to
adminlist.txt. Iron Gate's server guide gives the format (Platform_UserID, case sensitive) and says the ID can be found in the server log. The same goes forbannedlist.txtandpermittedlist.txt. - 7 Days to Die: the server's telnet console is enabled by default with no password on the shipped config, according to the community wiki. If you leave telnet on, set a password first.
- Any game: keep a short written list of who has admin, and review it when the group changes.
Admins should know what they're allowed to do. A one-paragraph rule set pinned in Discord (no spawning items in survival, ask before banning, never edit the world without telling the group) prevents most drama on a private server.
Choosing how many slots you need
Slots are the maximum number of simultaneous players, and they are set by the game's config, not by how many friends you have. Count how many people usually play at the same time, not how many are in your Discord, then add a couple of spare slots for a visitor or a streamer. A group of twelve friends who are rarely online together needs far fewer slots than twelve.
- Valheim is designed for 1-10 players, according to Iron Gate's 1.0 FAQ, so size for that at most.
- 7 Days to Die ships with
ServerMaxPlayerCountset to 8 on the community wiki's default config. - Minecraft defaults
max-playersto 20, and you can raise or lower it inserver.properties.
Load depends on more than slot count. A big world, a heavy modpack or many loaded chunks can strain a server before it fills.
Splitting the cost with Group/Clan Pay
Paying for a server on one person's card is how friend servers die: that person gets tired of it, or leaves. ChicagoServers has Group/Clan Pay for sharing the cost between members of a group, so the burden isn't on one friend. Check the order page for the details of how it works for your game.
However you split it, agree on three things up front: who owns the account (and what happens if they quit), what happens to the world if people stop paying, and whether anyone gets a say in changes like switching games. Stating it in writing once saves the awkward conversation later.
Keep the saves safe
On a private server the world is the whole point, and it's usually the product of months of shared effort. Protect it:
- ChicagoServers includes free server backups, but still take a manual copy before updates, mod changes and big builds. See the guide on backing up and restoring a game server for what to include.
- Limit who gets file and console access to people who understand what they're doing.
- Announce before updating the game or adding mods, and keep a backup you can roll back to.
- Remember that some games keep character data on each player's computer, not the server. In Valheim, characters live on the player's machine, so they should back those up too.
Frequently asked questions
Is a whitelist or a password better for a private server?
A whitelist is better when the game supports it, because it controls access per account and one person can be removed without changing anything for the others. A password is fine for casual groups, but it stops working the moment it's shared.
How do I let a friend manage the server without giving them my account?
Use sub-user access to give them only the permissions they need. Don't share your login or SFTP details.
How many slots should I choose for a private server?
Use your realistic peak number of simultaneous players plus a couple of spare slots. You can raise the limit later, and each game's default is only a starting point.
Why can't my friends see the server in the server list?
Many private servers are deliberately unlisted or filtered by password, whitelist or visibility settings. Give friends the IP and port directly, and use a direct-connect option if the game has one.